'Griccia' è un termine usato dagli antichi tessitori della seta del xiv e xv secolo, indicante un fregio a sviluppo in genere verticale, come un tronco che sostiene elementi decorativi come l'ananas, la pigna e il melograno.

domenica 19 giugno 2011

Il vecchio amico - ‘The old friend’

Mi è capitato di incontrarlo per caso qualche mese fa. Erano più o meno trent’anni che non ci vedevamo e fra l’altro avevamo avuto a suo tempo una breve ma intensa storia.
L’ho trovato invecchiato, certo, il tempo passa per tutti; ma forse per lui un po’ meno o forse ha cura di sé più di qualcun altro. E’ rimasto attraente, con quei suoi occhi un po’ allungati (occhi etruschi, se sapete cosa voglio dire) e con quel sorriso subitaneo che ha il potere d’illuminarlo tutto.

I met him by chance a few months ago, after more or less 30 years that we didn’t see each other. In those days we also had a short but intense affair.
I found that he had aged, of course we all do, but perhaps the passage of time was less harsh on him or maybe he takes greater care of himself than someone else. He is still very attractive with his slightly slanted eyes (Etruscan eyes, if you see what I mean) and  his sudden smile that has the power of brighten up his face.

Mi ha fatto piacere quando mi ha chiesto il numero di telefono e mi ha fatto piacere rivederlo di tanto in tanto, forse quattro volte in 6 mesi. Ieri sera l’ho invitato a cena a casa. Si vede che è una persona molto sola perché parla e parla: soprattutto dei figli (con grande affetto, è un padre ancora molto presente nonostante siano grandi), ma anche della moglie da cui è separato, con un po’ meno affetto, ma alla quale si sente ancora indissolubilmente legato.
E’ una brava persona, gentile, tranquillo, generoso.

I was happy when he asked for my phone number and I was happy to see him again, maybe 4 times in six months. Yesterday evening I invited him home for dinner. It seems to me that he is a very lonely person because he talks and talks: mainly about his sons (with great affection, he is a very present father even if they are quite grown up), but also about his separated wife, with somewhat less affection, but to whom he still feels indissolubly bound.

Non ha chiesto niente della mia vita.

Il pensiero mi ha colpita stamattina. Conosce a grandi linee gli avvenimenti degli ultimi tempi, ma non gli interessa cosa faccio, come mi sento, cos’ho nella testa e nel cuore. Sia ben chiaro che non pretendo un interesse sconfinato, magari finto, né mi aspetto che penda dalle mie labbra. Ma in fin dei conti non dovrebbe essere normale in una relazione di amicizia che ci sia una sorta di scambio verbale, un desiderio di stare insieme che comprenda dividere  delle esperienze di vita, delle emozioni o comunque sapere come l’altro si è ricostruito la vita?

He didn’ t ask anything about my life.

This thought struck me this morning. He broadly knows what lately happened in my life, but he is not interested in what I am doing, how I feel, what I have in my head or in my heart. Now, I want to be clear: I am not expecting a boundless , maybe fake, interest , neither expect him to hang on my every word. But shouldn’t it be normal in a friendly relationship to have a kind of verbal exchange, a wish of being together that includes sharing life’s experiences and feelings or at least a kind of curiosity to know how the other one rebuilt his/her life?

Non sa niente della mia passione per il mondo tessile, del mio blog oppure di cosa farò durante l’estate, anche se in mia compagnia sembra stare bene e mi ha proposto di rivederci presto.
Insomma, per fare una battuta potrei dire che si comporta come se fossimo sposati.
Forse dovrei davvero rileggere questo libro (grazie, Giselle!).

He doesn’t know anything about my passion for textiles, my blog or what I am going to do in the Summer. And yet he seems to enjoy my company and asked me to meet again soon. 
Oh well, jokingly I could say that he behaves as if we were married.
Maybe I should really read again this book (thanks, Giselle!).

Un bouquet aromatico regalatomi da una cara amica.
An aromatic bouquet from a dear girlfriend.

6 commenti:

  1. Hmmm, of course he wants to see you again because it sounds like he has it very good - he gets to talk, talk, talk and get everything off his chest without returning the favour! Perhaps things were the other way around in his last relationship and he is finally getting to have his say, which is lovely for him but at some stage it needs to even out. If it doesn't become two-way then what you have is therapy (for him), not friendship. I wonder if he realises he's doing this? Perhaps nudging the conversation around to your life might remind him that there are two people in the relationship? Given that you've made a nice connection it's worth a try to create a real friendship (one that makes both of you feel good).
    Honestly, men can be very slow sometimes and need things pointed out to them in some cases. When I think about how clueless my hubby was when we first started seeing each other it's a wonder we ever got married! He was definitely worth the effort (we often laugh about how dopey he was then) and is more than making up for it now. I guess all you can do is be honest about what you want and then the rest is up to him - he will either rise to the occasion or disappoint you - and then you will know.
    But honestly my darling, if he doesn't grab you with both hands are run away with you then there is something wrong with him! :)

  2. Men are funny creatures, they really need a little nudge at times to get them to ask questions in particular directions, you know he probable hasn't even realised he hasn't asked. Maybe you next date you could take him to something you really enjoy, that interests you. Have a wonderful week. xo

  3. Non deve chiederti nulla: Lui sa già che sei una donna eccezionale.
    Esiste questa magia del "come se non ci si fosse mai lasciati" e mi batte forte il cuore per te.
    Auguri per ciò che sarà.

  4. I don't know about you, but I'm too old (and maybe too wise) to do any nudging. If I'm not the Princess from the get-go, it ain't ever going to happen. And I KNOW this. I've put in my time...I deserve the best. So do you. So, if he doesn't come around soon....find someone who will! That's my two cents!

  5. Delana, I am with you.
    I agree that men need nudging and sometimes screaming clear 'orders' but I am too old for that.
    If a man comes my way, he has to be PERFECT...almost!

  6. I would just bluntly (but gently) point out that he hasn't asked about what's going on with me. If he doesn't instantly apologize and recognize the problem, then, sadly, he'll never get it.
    You are far to rare a treasure to put up with someone who isn't PERFECT...almost!